A Lifetime With You by Athrhteera

Alena

Matteo and I were at the doctor's clinic, the one we had went to during my first pregnancy. The moment we entered the clinic, I began to feel nervous and all I wanted to do was get back in the car but I knew we needed to confirm the pregnancy -this time, we had to take extra precautions in order to avoid what happened with Marco.

It was too early for us to be celebrating or excited about it. Even if we confirmed the pregnancy later, I was scared if we might face disappointment in the future.

This pregnancy was taking our minds away from the real problem, from the man who had kidnapped and tortured me. It was giving us some time off to focus on ourselves, our personal ves.

We couldn't take the time off for too long because the longer we lost our focus, the more plans the man could had. We were at risk regardless of what we did to continue on our lives, we weren't safe until we knew the man was dead.

It was needed to put an end to our suffering. He was slowly taking a toll to our lives, we didn't even realise how long we had lived in fear.

As for now, it was better to focus on my pregnancy.This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

I turned to look at my husband, seeing him burying himself in one of the women's magazines. It was the same thing he did when we first came here which brought a smile to my face because I realised just how much the pattern repeated. I didn't know if he even focused on the words in the magazine but I knew he was nervous as well.

I leaned on his shoulder,

"Yeah, what about you?"

"I'm alright."

You okay there?"

He nodded before sighing, "Actually, I'm a little bit nervous."

"I could tell," I replied.

"I'm not supposed, too. I need to be there for you,"

"We're allowed to feel nervous, Matteo. We went through a lot."

Both of his eyes were staring into mine and I swore every time he did that, I could feel him staring straight into my soul. It was as if he could unfold a few pieces of me and he could discover all of my secrets, even though I didn't have much to hide.

"You went through a lot, Alena. I wish I could turn back time and not put you through any of it." He said, turning to look

away.

However, I managed to catch his attention again by grabbing onto his hand. He looked back at me within seconds before he raised to kiss the back of my hand-the feeling of his warm and soft lips could never stop me from swooning. He knew how much his touches meant. "We through all of those things together. Whenever I suffered, so did you."

"It could be avoided. All of the mess I had put you through, they were my messes. You weren't supposed to go through those things, Alena. I was supposed to protect you," he replied.

I frowned, "Hey, we've talked about this. We've discussed this a few times,"

"I know. That doesn't mean the guilt isn't there,"

Mon. NoV

"Forget it. This is what marriage is for

Matteo raised an eyebrow before he chuckled. "To suffer?"

"To go through things together. Through thick and thin, Matteo Believe it or not but there a lot of ups in our relationship and I have been the happiest woman in the world ever since you came into my life despite the shitty things we went through. I wouldn't trade it for anything else." I said, gripping onto his hand.

It was just the two of us seated by the far end. We needed our own space, away from the other pregnant women-they couldn't hear us from where we were seated.

"I really wish our lives were different."

""How different?"

"Different. Normal. That kind of boring life."

"We'd be fighting about who's money we'd spend to buy groceries."

He laughed, "You have your own way of changing my mind, don't you?"

"Everyone is going through different problems in life. They probably don't have someone running after to kill them but they're facing issues like money. They might even be going through a mid-life crisis at the age of thirty," I replied.

"Right but that doesn't mean we have our lives sorted out,"

"We're just fine. We're doing fine, Matteo."

"You said you wanted a normal life,"

"I do but that doesn't mean I hate everything with my life. Everything happened for a reason and as far as everything we went through, I didn't regret a single thing."

To my surprise, he leaned in to kiss my lips. The feeling of his soft and warm lips could always melt my heart. We had kissed more times than we could count but every time we kissed, it felt as if it was the first time. The butterflies it gave me, the excitement and the giddy little feeling, they were too real.

I loved it when our noses touch whenever we kissed.

I loved it whenever one of us ended up being too needy.

"I was supposed to be the one to comfort you. Not the other way around," he said, breaking the kiss but our faces were still inches apart. If we moved, we could kiss again.

Matteo had been giving his best to comfort me. He had been doing that for months and he never complained, not even once. Regardless of how strong he tried to show himself whenever he was around me, I knew he had his moments where he wanted to lay down and do nothing. As a man with so much power, he was also human.

He didn't have to pretend to be strong with me. He could let it all go.

"It doesn't matter. We're going to be there for each other,"

"Always," "Always."

I leaned my head on his shoulder as we held hands. Our fingers were intertwined and we stayed in the same position for the next few minutes, letting ourselves drown in our own thoughts.

08:39

Mon, Nov

Until we were called by the doctor.

Hand in hand, we walked inside the doctor's room before we sat down on the provided seats. The doctor recognised me almost immediately and went ahead to ask about my condition, expecting the main reason I came here was to discuss about family planning. However, she was surprised when I told her about a recent pregnancy test.

"We'll have to confirm it first," she said.

So, it didn't take me long to lay down and Matteo was beside me. The doctor came to sit near as she turned on the machine and began to slowly lift my shirt up, revealing my flat stomach. I was the usual, squeezing out a cold liquid on my stomach before she went ahead

to scan.

"There you are..."

Both Matteo and I began to look at the screen, our eyes wide. It an instant, I was holding back the tears from falling down my face as I focused on the screen. I didn't need to hear the next words from the doctor for confirmation because I was already zoned out. "So, during this stage, only the blastomeres are formed. They're in the process of moving to the uterus and implanting in full. The baby is about the size of a grain of sand," she added.

I turned to look at her as she said the words, "You're three-weeks pregnant."

"But I don't remember my last period."

"This is just an estimation of how far along you are."

I nodded, looking at the screen again.

It didn't take me long to turn and look at my husband, who had been holding my hand the entire time. His eyes were teary but there wasn't a single teardrop on his face, he was trying his best to hold himself back from crying.

When we had went to get an ultrasound during my first pregnancy, Matteo had the same reaction. He was holding onto my hand as he stood beside me, looking at the screen and when I glanced at his direction, he was holding back his tears.

I never understood why men didn't want to look weak in front of their partners but I knew he just wanted to be strong for me. He was giving me the space to cry if I wanted to.

I squeezed his hand, catching his attention.

He went in to kiss my forehead, long. The kiss lingered for a little while until he pulled himself back and continued to look at the screen-looking at our baby.

"We'll take some pictures. You can come back again in five weeks for another scan," our doctor said as she smiled. "Congratulations, both of you."

The two of us were quiet on the way home. Neither of us said a word as we listened to music being played on the radio-we always connected bluetooth to the car but we were too caught up in our thoughts, we had simply forgotten. Matteo hadn't let go of my hand ever since we left the clinic, even while he was driving. I didn't try to pull my hand away either because I loved the feeling of his skin. I had nothing to complain other than the fact that we were too quiet. I knew we were both processing about the future. We needed a few minutes to ourselves.

I looked out the window and saw a couple holding their toddler. The couple were laughing and smiling as they talked to their toddler, a beautiful baby girl-she was also smiling at her parents and the three of them seemed happy.

I had always imagined Matteo and I to experience that one day.

All hope was gone when we lost Marco but I was hopeful again.

I turned to look at my husband, knowing that we were capable of going through everything especially when we had gone through the worst. Different obstacles and problems were bound to be in our way but we had each other, we were strong enough to face the world. I lifted his hand, kissing the back of it.