The Mafia Contract Series

I don’t know if I’ve ever been happier. In fact, it’s heaps better than I thought it would be. We are free to be together. It hit me as soon as Iris Young told us Massimo didn’t have a son. The relief was enormous despite the devastating tale she then went on to spill. I can’t begin to imagine how Flynn must be coping right now with what we heard. Just the swirl of emotions in his eyes told me it wasn’t a happy place to be. But now, the cloud has lifted, and there is hope on the horizon. It turns out we’re not related after all, and I am excited to discover what that means for us.

We make our way back to the penthouse and now I’m nervous for a different reason entirely.

There are no barriers in our way save for one. My virginity.

I’m so ashamed about that and worried about what Flynn will think. I’m guessing he’s used to experienced women who model lingerie for a living. Just imagining him looking at my own large body fills me with anxiety because what the fuck am I playing at? Men like Flynn don’t date women like me, not willingly, anyway.

The niggling doubt that just won’t go away taunts me all over again. ‘He only wants your inheritance, you stupid bitch.’ I wish that voice wasn’t talking on repeat most days. It’s been there all my life because nothing has ever proven it wrong. From early on, I learned people only wanted to be my friend because of my family connections. I was invited to all the parties in the hope of a decent gift and my father’s business contacts.

Other girls would pretend to be my friend because their parents made them and sniggered behind my back because I wasn’t as pretty as them. Even my own sister joined in, and I have spent many hours fighting the demons that are always present, knowing that I will never be one of them. Accepted for who I am because I don’t look good in fashion. Because I don’t speak the same language and the fact no boy would ever want me other than for a step up the ladder. I built an emotional wall to keep the hurt away. It would only affect me if I let it and so I gained a different reputation. I was rude, belligerent, and unfriendly. Sharp, vicious, and cold. I was none of those things, but the moment I stood up for myself and decided I wouldn’t play by their rules, I was dropped like a hot stone and left to sit on the table at lunch on my own. The party invites dried up and the looks I got were disapproving ones. I knew what they were saying behind my back. ‘She thinks she’s above us.’ ‘Who does she think she is?’ ‘Louisa Sullivan is an ice princess and no fun.’ No, I have never fitted in, which is why I’m finding it hard to comprehend that Flynn likes me for anything other than what I can give him and not for the first time, it hurts like hell.

“Hey, you’ve gone quiet on me, baby.”Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

Flynn’s husky voice interrupts my painful thoughts as he cuts the engine in the underground car park of the hotel. The dim artificial light glows around us and I shrink into the shadows in the hope of never having to reveal the extent of my pain.

“I was thinking.” I force a brightness in my voice that has always served me well over the years.

“What about?”

He sounds curious and I sigh heavily. “About work.”

“Work?”

His low laughter makes me smile. “Why is that funny?”

“Because we have just listened to a horror story and the only thing on your mind is work.”

If anything, he sounds pained about that and it upsets me. Reaching out, I grab his hand and say slightly hesitantly, “I’m sorry, Flynn. I lied.”

“Why?” he seems genuinely confused and I lean back and shake my head sadly. “If you must know, I was thinking about you.”

“And that put a frown on your face. I don’t like hearing that.”

“No, it wasn’t anything you’ve done, the opposite, in fact. I suppose it’s my own insecurities coming out and slapping me around the face again. Telling me this is too good to be true and you are only interested in me for what I can give you.”

“Is that what you think?” He sounds angry and I shrug.

“When you’ve lived as me, you kind of expect it. I’ve never known any different. You see, all my life, people have tolerated me because of who my father is. They never wanted to get to know me.

They just wanted the connection and it’s hard to think otherwise when you’ve lived with that reality all your life.”

To my surprise, a soft hand tilts my face to a very concerned looking one, and he says fiercely, “I’m not most people, Louisa. I make my own rules and fuck what people say. You know, all my life I’ve had no one. Like you, its defined who I am, and I built my defenses well. People only wanted me for the danger, the excitement, and the reputation. I deal with shit most of the time and seek an angel to restore my faith in humankind.”

“An angel?”

I’m confused, and he rubs his thumb across my lips and says huskily. “I’m only interested in what’s inside. I love a kind, gentle soul much more than a pretty doll. I determine beauty in the goodness of someone’s heart. The way they treat others and the kindness they show. I crave that more than designer packages wrapped up in self-importance. I desire someone who is kind, genuine and warm. Someone who cares and isn’t affected by status and position. A woman who has suffered through no fault of her own and is still a pure soul. I desire all that in you, baby, because you are everything I’m searching for and everything I don’t deserve. You see…” He brushes his lips against mine and whispers, “I’m not a nice man, as it happens. I kill, torture, and break men for a living. I search out their weakness and use it against them. I back up a demon and cover his tracks. I intimidate, threaten, and thrive on other people’s misery, and I feed off the souls of good people to make myself feel better. All my life, I’ve hated the raw evil that surrounds me. I’ve seen terrible things that would send the sanest person mad within seconds. I’m not proud of who I am.

I am the lowest form of life, but I learned a long time ago I can’t change that. Not really.”

I open my mouth to speak and his own descends on it with a punishing, brutal kiss that leaves me reeling. Flynn’s passion is fierce, devastating, and relentless and he kisses me with all the intensity of a desperate man. His fingers clutch my hair and press me closer, and his low moan of passion excites me in a way I wasn’t expecting.

He pulls back and rests his head against mine and says in a rough voice, “I need a woman like you in my life, Louisa, to neutralize the anger. To bring me back from the edge and reassure me that everything will be ok. I need you way more than you need me, and I will worship every inch of you for sticking by my side. I find you the most attractive woman I have ever seen and there is not a minute of the day I don’t desire you. You say you are unattractive; I disagree. I have never met a more attractive woman in my life and if you allow it, I want to prove that and make you happier than you have ever been. I don’t need your money. I don’t care what clothes you wear. I’m not interested in how many pounds you carry, it’s just more of you to love. If you don’t wear make-up, that means nothing to me because when I look at you, I see everything I ever wanted. So, push away those doubts and embrace the power you have because I have never met anyone as impressive as you, Louisa Sullivan, and don’t let anyone tell you differently.”

Just like that, the worries disappear like smoke to the heavens. It carries away any self-doubt I had and replaces it with an energy that’s new and exciting. I finally understand what it’s like. To be desired, important even, and not on my own anymore and I would do anything for this man because he has stepped inside my soul and breathed life into my frozen heart. As the warmth and energy spreads through my body, I feel so different. As if I’m invincible and it’s because of him. Flynn V asquez, the dark angel who walked into my life and turned it upside down. With him beside me, I can do anything, and he has given me the confidence to face the world and raise my middle finger knowing I am loved.