PREGNANT AFTER ONE NIGHT STAND

“Cedric, sit!”

This time it was Dad giving the order. Automatically, my wandering and scattered thoughts flew back into my mind. I realized that I had been pacing back and forth anxiously in front of the operating room, so I finally followed Dad’s words.

Earlier, Krystal had told me to sit down. Mom did too. But I ignored them. Seriously. This is the most nerve-wracking thing that has ever happened in my life. Anya often said it was getting close to her due date. I myself had issued many warnings for her not to overwork herself and to start preparing.

Mom had also become more talkative, but Anya… oh my! I just found out that she could be so relaxed facing the approaching labor day. She was just chill, still able to work from home and assist Krystal online. Or just have discussions with Dad about the office policies. I didn’t want to get too involved because I was dealing with the opening of a branch in Kalimantan. Need to spread our wings, right?

What Anya didn’t prepare for was her due date coming two weeks early! She said the pain on the way to the hospital was incredibly intense. Although she didn’t scream excessively, know that my hand turned red from her nails and grip. It wasn’t as painful as what she was going through, I’m sure of that.

I didn’t really understand the procedures for a woman giving birth. All I know is that Anya is now in the operating room. Struggling alone even though she’s very scared of being alone. When the decision for this operation was made, she cried. Not because of pain or anything, but I’m pretty sure it was more emotional than the physical pain she was enduring.

“I don’t want to be alone,” she said before finally giving in as the doctor reassured her repeatedly and was surrounded by many people. She wouldn’t be left alone like that. I wanted to laugh, but I couldn’t. All I could do was kiss her forehead for a long time before the nurse pushed her stretcher into the operating room.

It feels like my ordeal is more than just this. Seriously. I didn’t pay much attention when they explained why Anya had to have surgery; what mattered most was that she got the fastest treatment. Especially now.

The doctor said the surgical procedure would be done soon, but he came out with the nurse. He said Anya couldn’t be given an epidural injection? I don’t know. One thing’s for sure, that’s one of the injections used to numb the spinal cord so they can quickly perform a cesarean section. Inside, my wife couldn’t relax at all, the doctor said, and that’s why the injection had to be given.

The most likely option is total anesthesia.

“Are there any risks, Doctor?” Dad asked, diverting my attention completely. I didn’t even think about that.

“Yes, Sir.”Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

My heart felt like it dropped from its support.

“Because this is total anesthesia, both Anya’s consciousness and the baby’s will be affected by the medication. In a regular surgery, the baby remains conscious, not asleep like the mother. That’s the basic idea. That’s why Anya tried so hard to expedite the process with this total anesthesia.”

“Is there anything else, Doctor?”

“Because the baby’s condition follows the mother’s, there’s a possibility that the baby’s cries and responses will be slowed down. Hopefully, nothing will go wrong, Sir, Ma’am.”

I felt weak.

“Do your best, Doctor. My daughter-in-law and grandchild are inside. Anya is praying for a smooth operation. As a family, we trust that you’ll do your best.”

If Dad hadn’t insisted on coming along, my brain would have been blank, bombarded with questions by the doctor. I glanced at Dad, who looked worried, unable to hide it in his facial expression. But he was amazing; he tried to stay calm. Not like me.

I approached Dad who was sitting across from me. “Thanks, Dad.”

The great man just smiled as he hugged me. “Soon, my child will become a father. It’s not easy, Cedric, not easy at all.”

I started to understand that clearly. How to balance Anya, whose ego level was very high from the start. Not to mention her reluctance to lose in any argument, acting as if she were superior. I understood why she could be like that. Not because I just loved her and let her have her way, no. It wasn’t like that; I balanced Anya in a different way.

I compromised on many things first before reaching an agreement. She was right when she said she was hurt by the lies I had told. Turns out, she had already planned several aspects of our life if I only remained an ordinary OB worker.

As she told her story, I felt incredibly lucky to have Anya. That’s why I always let her express her desires first before adjusting and telling her if some of her plans seemed too far-fetched and not good. This way, she still had a lot of control, but with my persuasion. Actually, in this matter, I was the one who had more control.

“I learned from the expert, which is you, Dad.”

Dad just laughed. “Anya is different, Cedric. She’s a woman with principles, I can see that from the way she talks during discussions. She doesn’t like being active at home like your mother. I know and understand that. It’s not a problem for me as long as she can take care of herself, but my worry might not be unfounded.”

I fell silent.

“What you have now is the fear of Anya. Just like your sister.”

In the end, I chuckled softly. Dad was right.

“If Anya wants to work again later, don’t stop her. Let her create with her abilities. She must already understand her priorities now.”

“I never stopped her, Dad. We’ve talked about this a long time ago. It’s Mom who still objects to it.”

The smile on Dad’s lips remained loyal. I waited for him to continue.

“I’m trying to explain to your mom so she understands your wife’s wishes. I don’t want Anya to be sulking, and then I can’t play with my grandchild.”

“That’s why you said being a father is difficult. Especially when the wife works outside. You have to balance it very well. Let her know that she might be overzealous outside. Your child and you should be her real priorities. Working for a wife and mother, if the husband can provide, is not an obligation. And never feel like just because your wife works, you’re free from responsibilities. Wives really love to shop. Like your mother. If she likes buying flowers and bags, I don’t know what Anya’s preferences are. But I’m sure about Krystal; she’s into fashion, not makeup.”

I grinned. I felt like Dad deliberately brought up this topic to ease the tension within me. And it worked; I started to relax. Mom was comforted by Krystal. I was truly grateful to be surrounded by them. Unbeknownst to me, the door that had been open, bringing in the news that made me tense, opened again. The doctor and a different nurse came in, carrying a crying baby.

His voice made me shiver. I’m a father now? I feel like crying right now.

“Congratulations, Mr. Cedric. Your son was born safely without any issues.”

“Praise God.” We approached together. Dad hugged me tightly. When the nurse gently handed this tiny baby to me, there are no words to describe how happy I was to become a father. His cries suddenly stopped, and his eyes looked directly at me.

“Hi, Baby. This is Daddy.”

I couldn’t get enough of looking at Baby’s face, who had just entered the world. I was so incredibly happy. But that happiness disappeared quickly when one of the nurses came out with a panicked look on her face.

“Doctor, the patient’s condition is dropping.”

***

I didn’t spend a single moment without holding her hand that was not attached to the IV. I remembered that throughout Baby’s pregnancy, she had to get IV injections often. I briefly let go of that connection during lunchtime. Mom said I still had to take care of my health to avoid dropping while taking care of Anya.

But this incident made me feel like I needed more support than just my parents. My God. Because it is only to Him that I pray so fervently not to separate us. To give me one more chance to improve myself as a son, husband, father, and responsible man. Especially in matters of religion.

I still make many mistakes. I neglect so many things, especially my spiritual obligations to God. And again, I rarely remind Anya about this matter.

When I heard the words from the nurse behind the doctor earlier, I swear, there was no greater desire than to see Anya immediately. But that was impossible. I had to restrain all the struggles of my ego and leave it to the doctor’s treatment. I just hoped that time would pass quickly and I would receive good news.

During the intervals, I always prayed to God that I would still be given a chance with Anya and our child. Don’t separate us. I don’t know how it feels to live without Anya. Baby needs her so much too.

“Joice, Baby is very healthy, according to the doctor. So cute,” I said while stroking her weak hand.

“The doctor said…” I couldn’t stop myself, and once again, I cried. This time, in front of her. Earlier, during my prostration, I released all the emotions I had bottled up. I knew my God heard my prayers. Maybe there were many things being considered to grant my request. What’s clear is that if my hope is fulfilled, I want to change. Perhaps I see this as a big slap about who I am in God’s eyes. Maybe I’ve been too arrogant. So, God gave me this to make me realize that I’m nothing.

“I love you so much.” I kissed her hand again. This time, for a long time. Letting tears wet her fragile hand. The hand that prepares a cup of coffee and a simple breakfast every day. The hand that I always use to rub my chest because it’s her favorite thing to do. The hand that helps me a lot every day, and without realizing it, I have become very dependent on it.

“Wake up, okay.” I sobbed quietly and the longer I sobbed, the louder it became. “Don’t leave me alone.”