Want to Play A Game

It’s been about 3 days after my interview waiting for the call is driving in crazy. I am finally talking to my mother again; I think that she’s starting to understand that I can control my own life. It has been just been us for such a long I expect that she just worries so much. I’ve been trying to keep myself busy, but it’s been hard not working. I haven’t really gone to any other interviews because I really want this position. I didn’t want to give others false hope when I was waiting to find out about this job. I decided if I hear nothing by lunchtime then I am going to call myself because I am sick of waiting, I just want to know. I mean if I don’t get it’s going to be disappointing, but I prefer to know either way. Matt still has not talked to me not really sure why I don’t know what I did to him. He won’t even look at me when we pass in the hall, it’s really awkward. I want to say something, but I don’t know what to say. Maybe because I’m hurt from all of thus bullshit. I am such an idiot to be hurt over him.

I jump when I hear my phone ringing; I see that it’s them; I am so nervous, but I’m also super excited.

“Hello is this Jessica Smith?”

“Yes, this is Jessica Smith speaking.”

“Hi this is Blair street marketing I was calling regarding the marketing position that you applied for.”

“Yes,”Property of Nô)(velDr(a)ma.Org.

“Yes, we were wondering if you would want to start your career with us if you would like the marketing position it is yours.”

“Oh my God really that is amazing yes I would love to start my marketing career with you this is so exciting.”

“So miss Smith when are you able to start.”

“I can start whenever you want me to I have no problems starting as soon as tomorrow.”

“Alright Miss. Smith how is tomorrow at 8:00 a. m. is that good for you?”

“Thank you so much 8:00 am is prefect I will see you tomorrow you have a great day. ”

You’re welcome, Miss. Smith, you have a great day welcome to the company.

I decide that I’m done sitting here feeling pity on myself I am going out in celebrating. I know that I don’t really have many friends but hell I am not looking for a friend and just going to go look for a guy I can fuck. I am going to have some fun, get what I need and just be done. If men can do it why can’t we l. I am So excited from getting the news I decide to wear something sexy and go to the bar. I don’t plan on getting drunk, I just plan on finding someone to fuck. I want to have some fun I want to satisfy myself I think it will be fun. I have this boost of confidence not really sure where it came from, but I really don’t care, I’m going to use it to get what I want. I look into the mirror, I love the way I look for once I feel sexy. I slip on some sexy heels hoping I don’t fall on my face I am not used to wearing heels at all. I walk out my apartment I lock my door when I turn I see Matt His eyes looking intense staring at me, I say nothing I just keep walking back past him.

“Jessica where you are going looking like that.”

I stop dead in my tracks and turn around I look at him say nothing why should I he hasn’t spoken to me in over a week. I owe nothing to him, as I turn around and continue to walk down the stairs. Surprise that he would even care where I am going and wondering why he would even think it’s any of his business. I hear footsteps coming from behind me, I don’t acknowledge them just in case it’s him. I am not showing him any kind of caring gesture he doesn’t deserve it I feel my arm being grabbed.

“Jessica where are you going you should not be going out looking like that you’re asking for trouble.”

“I turn and look at him first of all Matt don’t fucking touch me You’re not my boss I will do what the hell I want to do leave me alone.”

“Jessica I just don’t want nothing to happen to you there has been a lot happening in our area I don’t want here to get hurt.”

I look at him and laugh “why the fuck what you care if I got hurt stay away for me Matt your good at.”

I continue walking down the stairs, I hear him following me, but I don’t care how dare he? I don’t understand why he would even give a shit if something happened to me, it’s not like he cares about me. I walk out the apartment and continue walking down to the bar by my house. I have always been Loaner I’ve never really had friends never wanted them people are just full of disappointment. I realize that now more than anything all people do is hurt you what is the point of having anyone.

As I walk into the bar I swing the door open I am walking with confidence knowing someone is going home with me, I get to pick from the choosing. As heads turn to look at me, I walk by not looking at them wanting all eyes on me. I’m feeling sexy, invincible and it feels amazing. Knowing I can’t have too much fun, I have work tomorrow. I become excited wondering who I’m going to choose to play this game with. The bartender comes over to me his eyes looking surprised not realizing how sexy I truly am.

Hey Jessica, wow you’re looking very fucking hot damn what can I bring you?

I smile at him” I’m not really craving a drink I am seeking something else would you be able to satisfy my craving.”

He looks at me surprised not even sure how to respond the shock in his eyes humors me. I was never this confident, but I am now. “If you can’t even answer me obviously, there’s no Way of you satisfying me how I want to be. I just take a rum and Coke for now.”

To my surprise someone sits beside me, I look next to myself and that’s when I see Matt. “Jessica you know that I know how to satisfy what you are craving and desiring.”

He puts his hand on my arm, sending shivers through my body. I know that is telling the truth that he is able to satisfy every desire I may crave, but I don’t want him. I ignore him not talking back struggling to enjoy my drink wondering what the fuck is doing here.

“Jessica why won’t you talk to me?”

I look at him angrily “really Matt I’ve been trying to talk to you for over a week you just ignored me. While you were bringing different girls go into your fucking apartment. Now you want to talk to me why?”

“Jessica we were never in a relationship I’m allowed to be with whomever I want him sorry that you got jealous.”

“Jealous really I wasn’t jealous I’ve been trying to talk to you, but you ignored me now you want to talk to me what because I’m trying to find someone to have fun with.”

He says nothing I am done I get up and just leave the bar. Not really sure why he would even bother following me anywhere. I am so pissed off he has ruined my night, I just go home.